Dealing With Anxiety, Burnout, and Loneliness

A solo path of personal growth

Working on myself has been… lonely. And I think that’s normal. We’re social beings. We crave connection, validation, presence. But when you choose to grow alone, you also choose silence. You choose solitude. I’m learning to accept that.

Burnout also creeps in—especially when I’m doing the same thing over and over. The repetition kills creativity. But that’s part of the challenge. That’s the point. I need to be persistent and see it through.

After I bought my camera, I thought I had fulfilled my cinematic dreams. But the more I dive into this world, the more I realize—it’s not just about the camera. It’s about lighting, and lighting is expensive. It’s like a domino effect—one desire triggering the next. And suddenly, you’re never satisfied.

That’s where the anxiety hits.

I have to remind myself: I’m broke. I’m not in a place to chase every new obsession. My net worth might even be negative. But it’s okay.

When I enter a state of flow—when I’m focused, present—those feelings disappear. But most of the day, I struggle. I procrastinate. Because sometimes what I do doesn’t feel impactful or socially visible. It feels small.

Still, I remind myself: This is self-time. This is for a better version of Elly. This is how I build something meaningful—even if no one sees it yet.