Who Are You When the Title Is Gone?

Reflections on Identity, Truth, and Letting Go of the Masks We Wear

After a very long conversation with friends—Fr. Louie and Lex—I listed some of the things that stayed with me. This was on May 30, from 6 PM to 10 PM. It was one of those conversations that digs deeper and tries to analyze the world we live in today.

Thinking and Feeling

The first thing that blew my mind was when Fr. Louie said:

"Dumduma ang ginabatyag mo, pamatyagi ang ginadumdom mo." (Feel what you think, and think what you feel.)

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by emotions that we stop thinking critically. A slight pause and reflection become necessary. But at the same time, we can also become too analytical and believe we are always right simply because our reasoning makes sense. Sometimes we need emotions too. When we don't feel things, we become overly rule-based and forget what is human.

The Ripple Effect

Another idea that struck me was the concept of the ripple effect.

A ripple creates waves. It only takes a single disturbance in the water to create movement. When people want revolution or change, it often begins with one person. Eventually, the effect spreads outward as others realize they share the same concerns, frustrations, or motivations. In many ways, this is what happened during the People Power Revolution in the Philippines, where a movement that started with a few individuals grew into a collective force for change.

Leadership and the Middle Ground

We also talked about leadership.

Leaders shouldn't be the only ones adjusting to followers. Followers shouldn't be the only ones adjusting to leaders either. Both sides must adjust. When both sides move toward each other, they meet in the middle ground, and that is where people figure out what is best for everyone.

Collective Unconsciousness and Tubungan

Fr. Louie shared his analysis on how people think in my hometown. Much of it is rooted in religion, beliefs, and traditions. It is interesting how Catholicism and older traditional beliefs coexist. People are deeply religious, yet they still practice beliefs like:

Paluy-á – A ritual intended to "soften" and appease spirits, often performed to heal illness or ward off misfortune.
Padugo – A bloodletting ritual, usually involving a rooster or pig, where blood is sprinkled on the ground to seek protection for new construction, farmland, or crops.
Halad – The broader act of making an offering—such as food, tobacco, or prayers—as a sign of respect, gratitude, or reverence.
For Deceased Family Members – Families may set out a departed loved one's favorite food, drinks, or cigarettes at an altar, symbolically inviting them to "eat first" and remain connected to the family.

What fascinated me was how this collective unconsciousness affects decision-making. People often choose peace over confrontation, even when they know they are already being taken advantage of. They would rather preserve harmony than challenge authority.

The irony is fascinating. We do not want others to feel bad, so we compromise ourselves. We become the ones suffering, yet we continue sacrificing our own feelings for the sake of appearances, tradition, and authority.

The Blind Men and Truth

This entire conversation reminded me of how thinkers in the past formed ideas. They questioned assumptions, challenged one another, disagreed, agreed, and synthesized information until they found some common truth. The goal was never to win but to find a middle ground where understanding could exist.

An interesting discussion came from Lex about the story of the blind men and the elephant. The question was simple:

How can blind men describe something as a snake, a rope, or a tree if their blindness was inborn? How can they have those visual references in the first place?

The parable of the Blind Men and the Elephant is a classic metaphor about human perception, limited knowledge, and subjective truth. A group of blind men, having never encountered an elephant, set out to understand what it was by touching different parts of its body. Each reached a different conclusion:

The side felt like a wall.
The tusk felt like a spear.
The trunk felt like a snake.
The leg felt like a tree.
The ear felt like a fan.
The tail felt like a rope.

Because each experienced only one part, each believed his description represented the whole elephant.

The moral of the parable is that the men argued because each mistook a partial truth for the complete truth. It reminds us that reality is often more complex than our individual perspectives. Understanding requires humility, openness, and a willingness to consider what others see that we do not.

It made me think about how people often create truths in their minds based on limited information. They imagine realities without enough context. People assume things about others after seeing only one or two perspectives of the whole story, yet they already build a complete narrative.

In a way, people fantasize truth. They create explanations that justify what they already want to believe. It is very human.

Descartes, Identity, and "I Am"

Lex then mentioned René Descartes and his famous statement:

"I think, therefore I am."

Fr. Louie expanded on it with an example: I can ask whether the laptop I am using right now is real. Does it exist? Then I can ask: Who is asking? Who is being asked? Who will answer?

Three actions, yet only one source. He connected this idea to the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—and ended with a line that gave me goosebumps:

"I Am."

At its core, Cogito, Ergo Sum means that the very act of thinking, questioning, or doubting proves that a conscious self exists to perform those actions.

Radical Doubt: Descartes set out to find a truth that could not possibly be questioned. To do this, he doubted everything he thought he knew—including his senses, the physical world, and even his own body.
The Irrefutable Proof: While he could doubt the existence of the world around him, he realized there was one thing he could not doubt: the fact that he was doubting.
The Conclusion: A thought cannot exist without a thinker. Therefore, the act of thinking itself confirms the existence of the one doing the thinking.

This insight became a foundational starting point for modern Western philosophy. Your awareness of your own consciousness is more immediate and certain than anything you perceive in the external world. Even if everything around you were an illusion, the fact that you are thinking about it would still prove that you exist.

Then we returned to the story of the blind men. Assuming they were not born blind, but instead had their eyes covered before touching the elephant, another question emerges:

Who covered their eyes?

People in my town—and perhaps people everywhere—can be blind both inside and outside. They often assume the present based only on past experiences. They rarely have the courage to verify what is actually true. Instead, they follow what they feel.

The painful part is that sometimes people choose blindness because the truth is uncomfortable. The fear of being corrected is too great because pride gets in the way.

Tradition, Religion, and Change

Lex connected this to Argumentum ad Antiquitatem—the appeal to tradition.

Many people, especially older generations, are afraid to question why a tradition exists or whether it should continue. Even when a tradition becomes unfair, people keep following it because they grew up with it or were forced into it.

Fr. Louie emphasized something important:

Tradition should not be destroyed. It should be purified. Tradition must remain relevant to current society.

Yet many people still cling to what they experienced in the past and refuse to examine whether it still serves people today. For me, that becomes toxic. Religion must adapt.

Why Sin Exists

At one point, Fr. Louie asked us why sin exists in the world. We answered:

Because of evil.
Because temptation exists.
Because of the serpent in the beginning.

Every answer was wrong. Fr. Louie simply said:

"Because of humans."

That answer stayed with me.

Funny enough, Tubungan is often associated with rebellious people. Yet in reality, most people here are extremely tolerant. Lex suggested that perhaps this tolerance developed as a response to that reputation. Instead of fighting what is wrong, people often choose understanding, adjustment, and compromise—sometimes even when they are the ones being taken advantage of. What a life.

Education, Anger, and Progress

We also talked about education. The purpose of education is to improve humanity, not preserve stagnation.

Yet many older ways of teaching remain linear. Questioning existing beliefs is often considered disrespectful, while blindly following flawed beliefs is accepted because it protects people's image. Maybe that is one reason this country struggles.

Fr. Louie reminded us that everyone has the right to be angry. But anger must come with "hugot" (depth/passion), not "hūgūt/dumut" (tightness/grudge). There must be substance behind it.

Free Will and the Future

I also asked whether the future is already predetermined and simply unfolding in real time.

Fr. Louie said that idea conflicts with free will. God may know all possibilities, but He does not intervene. What blew my mind was this:

God knows all possible outcomes. But He does not know what we will choose. That freedom was given to us.

God knows every path, but not which path we will take. That is the essence of free will. Mind-blowing.

Optimism for the Philippines

I asked him if it was okay to remain optimistic about the Philippines. I told him I genuinely believe this country will become prosperous one day. I do not know how or when; I simply have that feeling.

He said optimism is fine as long as I do not become attached to specific expectations. What matters is that we keep moving.

He joked that the fastest way to improve the Philippines is through importation: import politicians from Singapore, Korea, and Japan, and export ours. We laughed.

Identity Beyond Position

"No priest stays in a parish, what stays are the memories associated with us."

Toward the end, we shifted to a lighter conversation about identity. Fr. Louie said that regardless of where he goes or what position he holds, his core identity remains the same: a priest. If that identity disappears, then who is he?

He also told me something I needed to hear:

"If you overthink, you are overtaking God." Let go and let God.

That resonated with me because most of the things I worry about never happen anyway. There are too many variables affecting the future. Maybe the healthier approach is simply to let things unfold and deal with challenges when they arrive. Less stress, less overthinking.

Final Reflection

At the end of the conversation, what stayed with me was not the discussion about free will, politics, tradition, or even philosophy.

It was identity.

Fr. Louie reminded us that one day positions will disappear. Assignments change. Titles are temporary. Places move on without us. Priests leave parishes. Leaders leave offices. People retire, get replaced, or are forgotten.

What remains is who they are when all of that is gone.

Right now, I am still building that identity. I am not as established as Fr. Louie. I am still learning, still questioning, still trying to build and discover what kind of person I want to become. But this conversation grounded me.

It reminded me that the goal is not to become attached to positions, titles, or authority. The goal is to build a character that remains even when those things disappear. A person willing to listen, willing to be corrected, willing to question, willing to lead ethically, and willing to leave something meaningful behind.

Because in the end, all the positions we hold are temporary. The real question is:

Who are you when the title is gone?

That's the question I walked away with. And maybe that's the most important question of all.