Trusting You is My Decision

Overcoming the fear of hurting others and learning to let life unfold

Tonight, around midnight, I had a conversation with Father about something that has been bothering me lately.

I told him that I'm scared of entering a relationship—not because I'm afraid of getting hurt, but because I'm afraid that I might hurt someone else in the future.

I've been talking to this girl about life, and things are going well. For the first time in a long while, I feel like there's a real possibility that I could become someone's boyfriend. But instead of being excited, I find myself worrying about the future. What if I fail? What if I disappoint her? What if I become the reason she gets hurt?

Think What You Feel, Feel What You Think

Father listened and reminded me of something he had told me before:

"Think what you feel, and feel what you think."

He encouraged me to slow down, be silent, and reflect instead of rushing to conclusions. Most of my fears are based on events that haven't even happened yet. I'm overthinking a future that has no guarantee of becoming reality.

Then he shared a quote with me:

"What if I betray your trust someday?"

"Trusting you is my decision. Proving me wrong is your choice."

That hit me hard.

Trust isn't something that can be guaranteed. It's a choice someone makes despite uncertainty. And if someone chooses to trust me, then it becomes my responsibility to honor that trust.

That realization made me pause.

I can't rush into decisions simply because I'm feeling emotions. I need to be thoughtful about where I'm going and what kind of person I want to be. Not because I'm expecting failure, but because I don't want to repeat mistakes or carelessly hurt people along the way.

Wisdom from the Book of Sirach

Father also shared passages from the Book of Sirach, and I was surprised by how relevant they still are today.

One verse stood out:

"A loyal friend is a powerful defense; whoever finds one has indeed found a treasure."

Another:

"For as a person is, so is his friend too."

The entire passage revolves around friendship, trust, loyalty, and testing relationships through time and adversity. Reading it reminded me that trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship.

Anyone can be present when life is easy. The real test comes during conflict, disappointment, and hardship.

Can I Be Trusted?

And that's where my fears come from.

I know myself. I like teasing people. I enjoy making others laugh. I say sweet things. I enjoy making people feel appreciated.

But beyond the fun and affection lies a more serious question:

Can I be trusted when things get difficult?

Maybe that's the real concern beneath all my overthinking.

For now, I don't need to answer that question immediately. The future doesn't exist yet.

Maybe the best thing I can do is what Father suggested: stop trying to predict every possible outcome and allow life to unfold naturally.

Trust is built one day at a time.

And if this relationship is meant to grow, then it will reveal itself through time—not through anxiety.